you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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