Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
