Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
