Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
