garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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