Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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