New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
