i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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