Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
