So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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