were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i dont even know how to be here
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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