A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
