R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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