im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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