I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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