Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
