Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
