i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
