You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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