11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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