the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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