Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
