By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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