2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
