This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
