this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I puked a lego.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
