I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
