I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I looked at my own cervix.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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