we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
