Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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