yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
