Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
