So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize