Do you still have your period?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
