I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can I color on your dick again?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
