If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
