Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
