I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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