we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
