My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
