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i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
