In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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