Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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