I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
