I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
