I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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