every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
