no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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