i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
