guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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