It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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