I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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