I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
