Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
