so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
