margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
